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Serial and Issue: ISBN 0-9629176-4-8 / 1991.
The “New, Original” part of the title was an obvious attempt to distance this version of Wonder Woman in every way possible from the Cathy Lee Crosby version of a year earlier, as if the point needed any clarification. Once the unbelievably dumb theme song is over (“In your satin tights—fighting for your rights”) this pilot for the successful television series outclasses the Crosby vehicle hands down.
One look at Lynda Carter in costume is worth two stars alone; when she emerges from a comic book panel in the opening credits, the effect is seamless. Praise for Carter’s stunning appearance and devastating smile is deserved and well-documented, but her actual performance has never been given enough credit. The wide-eyed innocence she conveys during Wonder Woman’s first day in America is a good example. Carter is successful in communicating the Pollyanna-like superheroine’s unfamiliarity in a strange but fascinating new land. Considering the character’s origins in antiquity, however, some sort of accent might have been appropriate. Diana Prince isn’t around long in the pilot, but she is not missed. The bespectacled Prince, a female Clark Kent if there ever was one, was never much of a presence in the comics, either. This realization has since been recognized by the D.C. people, as evidenced by her elimination from the new “Wonder Woman” book. But if Carter alone earns two stars of the film’s three star rating, that does not say much for other aspects of the production. Writer Stanley Ralph Ross, who was responsible for many of the better episodes of the “Batman” TV series, has penned an origin story that is faithful but bland. He wisely kept the camp elements to a minimum though Red Buttons and Stella Stevens (who was so memorable in the 1959 filming of “L’il Abner”) are the silliest spies since Boris and Natasha, and the Nazis are no more threatening than the ones on “Hogan’s Heroes.” There is a cheapness that pervades the entire production, that director Leonard Horn does a poor job concealing. Paradise Island in particular is a disappointment; in the establishing shot the Amazon city looks like a warehouse district, without a trace of Greek or Roman influence. Cloris Leachman is fine as Hippolyte, but trying to play royalty in a throne-room that resembles the lobby of a Holiday Inn is an uphill fight. Other sets and costumes are substandard, and the special effects are unconvincing and kept to a minimum. The ensuing TV series corrected many of these problems, after settling into a familiar but entertaining formula. Lyle Waggoner, who starts off rather stiff in the pilot, became far more likable as the series progressed, though he never did dye his hair blond. The show remains memorable for Carter’s spins and the occasional odd or interesting guest star, such as when Debra Winger appeared as “Wonder Girl,” a role that one would assume is no longer listed on her resume’. It is probably inevitable that Wonder Woman will eventually receive the Superman/Batman treatment in a big budget Hollywood production, but imperfect as it is this one will do until that something better comes along. And when it does, even if Julia Roberts is signed for the title role, she will find it next to impossible to supplant the memory of Lynda Carter, whose resemblance to the Amazon Princess is flawless enough to fool the guards at the gates of Olympus.
Nowhere on screen is there any mention of the cooperation or even approval of D.C. Comics, which may explain quite a bit. For instance, Diana’s last name is never given, nor is the name of her island home. Wonder Woman never appears in costume, or with any of her familiar paraphernalia. There is a brief mention of her invisible plane, but we never see it (though admittedly that would be difficult). There is no physical resemblance whatsoever between sandy blonde Cathy Lee Crosby and the brunette heroine of the comics. Her “transformation” from Diana to Wonder Woman involves nothing more than taking the bobby pins out of her hair. She does wear a red, white and blue uniform, but if it weren’t bad enough that it is not the original (or revealing enough to be appreciated on a different level), it is also completely devoid of style, recalling nothing so much as a “moon maiden” costume from a low-budget 1950’s earth invasion flick. The cheapness of the outfit is in keeping with the rest of the production. The sets are reminiscent of high school theatre, complete with “high-tech” government computers and intelligence equipment that was hopelessly outdated even when the movie was first broadcast. Adam West’s Batcave holds up better than this. The level of intelligence in John D.F. Black’s script is best summed up by one scene preceding the climactic chase. When Abner Smith escapes with the money, Diana looks around for a way she can follow him. By a stroke of luck, there just happens to be a motorcycle sitting in the middle of his living room. Such amazing conveniences are a regular occurrence throughout the movie. Black seemed to have the “Avengers” TV series in mind more than any comic book when he wrote this mess. His Wonder Woman is not an Amazon princess, but a special government agent with no apparent super powers. Sadly, Black doesn’t even steal well. The dignified meetings between distinguished heroes and villains, with their veiled threats amidst dinner conversation, were polished and classy with John Steed and Emma Peel, but here they just look ridiculous. It would not have been difficult to rise above this material, but the cast still cannot manage it. Crosby emerges best, probably because everyone around her is beyond help. Ricardo Montalban, cast as “Abner Smith” (a sure sign of trouble right there) dips every word in venom before spitting it out. As his right-hand man Andrew Prine is embarrassing. His attempts to be suave while trying to seduce Crosby are hilarious. Anitra Ford, who plays Ahnjayla, would have actually made a better Wonder Woman, if she could act. As it is, her brief appearance is not brief enough. “Wonder Woman” was a pilot for a television series that thankfully never materialized, for if it did we may never have seen the Lynda Carter version that followed just one year later. While not exactly a hall of fame broadcast in its own right, it is certainly proficient enough to erase any trace of this mishap from all but the most masochistic memory.”
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